The failure of the Oregon Obamacare website has led to the taxpayer-funded senseless killing of 15 pristine, 60-foot pine trees.

Despite a federal taxpayer cash infusion of $305 million, Cover Oregon has yet to achieve a single online enrollment. Earlier this week, Executive Director Rocky King told members of the legislature that he was planning to do “a full manual system from here through March 31.”

Oregonians hoping to enroll in the state exchange before the deadline must complete and submit a 20-page paper application.

As reported by Portland CBS affiliate KOIN, the state exchange has received 30,000 paper applications:

“KOIN 6 News confirmed Cover Oregon has added dozens of extra fax lines to handle the paper applications being sent in by fax.

On Wednesday, King said they had received about 24,000 paper applications. That number now is closer to 30,000. But many people complained of busy signals when trying to send in their application by fax.”

30,000 applications, multiplied by 40 pages per application (20 pages on the sending end, 20 pages on the receiving end) adds up to 1,200,000 pieces of paper. According to, a 60-foot tall, one-foot diameter pine tree produces 80,500 pieces of paper.

1,200,000 divided by 80,500 = 14.9 trees.

Pictured below: Screen shot from “Cover Oregon” commercial. Until recently these trees were happily minding their own pristine business.

Please consider the environment before printing this document, you heathen.