With the public increasingly frustrated with the EPA’s power grab, the agency is ramping up its pr efforts pushing back against Americans’ concerns about federal overreach…with a rap? Releasing “Click it—flip it,” a song that would make Vanilla Ice blush, the EPA’s new education campaign for children is as weird as it is inaccurate.
The MC warns listeners what is at stake, due to global warming, “the bears don’t even know when to take a nap. On top of that, it’s not cool, when the flood waters rise and mosquitoes rule.” Thankfully, we have the EPA to stave off the coming mosquito apocalypse where bears plagued with insomnia battle Kevin Costner for scarce resources.
Phew, thanks for looking out, EPA. So what should we do to stop Tyrannical Mosquitoes?
“A 5 minute shower is all that’s needed to keep energy from being depleted. A long sleeve sweater is what I know will keep you toasted and the fuel bills low.”
Oh, that’s it?
And don’t forget, don’t ever forgot, to “click it—flick it, turn the handle to the right. Turn off the water push the handle real tight. Slip on some sneakers lace them up tight, leave the car parked you know that’s all right. Public transportation is the way to go you know, it’s one of the ways to keep emissions low.”
While showing a lack of creativity (the chorus’ rhyme scheme: right:tight:tight:right) even for federal bureaucrats, their creepy suggestions about how long children should shower for have nothing to do with what the EPA is really up to—regulating America’s energy companies and manufacturers out of business, and raising energy prices for every American.
Drop the beat, EPA!