It's been widely reported that Wisconsin Democrats have been discovered at their secret hideout at a Best Western in Rockford, IL, outside the jurisdiction of Wisconsin state troopers who would like them to return to Madison to do their job. While Republicans are at work, their colleagues across the aisle decided a contentious budget fight would be the perfect time to skip town for a little R&R in Rockford.

I'm a big fan of traveling, and I always like to pack my vacation agenda to the gills so I can really experience new places to the fullest. I'd like to help Wisconsin's Absentee Caucus do the same, so I did a little research on Rockford. While I'm not sure if they'll be keen on venturing out of their bunker at the 3-star Best Western Clock Tower Resort (map), here's a list just in case.

• Play 18 holes at Earl F Elliot Public Golf Course. It's a lovely tour-length course literally across the street from the secret hideout where you are avoiding the democratic process in which you chose to participate when you ran for public office. The weather is starting to turn in northern Illinois, and let's be honest, who hasn't skipped out of work a bit early to play 18 and then grab a couple beers afterward?
• Shop around at Kegel Harley Davidson. Let's face it, you're all union hacks. What better way to gain a bit of credibility with the blue collar set then rolling back into town (whenever that might be...take your time) on a Hog. Fun fact: Kegel is the world's oldest family-owned Harley dealership.
• Take your kids to the Discovery Center Museum. This is right in the heart of Rockford, and can be both fun and educational. And your kids definitely need some educating, as their teachers are refusing to show up at school! You can fill the void with some of the classes offered.
• Check out the renowned Rockford Symphony Orchestra. Serious credibility boost with the wine-and-cheese crowd, who funded your election!
• Do not, under any circumstances, attempt to start a small business. You'll be strangled by oppressive taxes and regulations (oh, and forced unionization laws). Gov. Pat Quinn, a role model to most of you, just passed billions of dollars of tax increases, spent a boatload more money the state doesn't have and has steadfastly refused to take any proactive steps to reform the state's structural budget issues. Think of him as the exact opposite of Scott Walker, Governor of Wisconsin, which is open for business.

I hope you find this helpful. If you could please send back one Democrat so the legislature can vote to reform and revitalize Wisconsin, that would be appreciated. But hopefully the rest of you will stay in Illinois, which suits you much better.

If you or any other liberal state legislators across the country are interested in ATR's advice about how to quarantine you in Illinois while leaving the rest of us alone, please contact me at jculling@atr.org.

Posted by Joshua Culling on Thursday, February 17, 2011 6:28 PM EST

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