EPA Proves They're Full of Crap

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Posted by Zoe Crain on Friday, June 27th, 2014, 3:04 PM PERMALINK


In a literal example of government waste, the Environmental Protection Agency spent taxpayer funds this week on a “crisis intervention and trauma recovery” expert in order to stop a serial pooper in the Region 8 (Denver, CO) office from defecating in the hallways.

Government Executive obtained a copy of the email sent to EPA employees, which referenced several incidents, including “clogging the toilets with paper towels” and “an individual placing feces in the hallway outside the restroom.”

In response to the fecal freebooter, psychologist John Nicoletti, whose website describes him as a “national expert in police psychology, violence risk assessment, workplace and school violence prevention, as well as crisis intervention and trauma recovery,” was brought in to explain the risks associated with this type of behavior. But, perhaps an expert on potty training would have been more appropriate.

The EPA did release a statement on the unidentified bathroom bandit, saying,

“EPA cannot comment on ongoing personnel matters. EPA’s actions in response to recent workplace issues have been deliberate and have focused on ensuring a safe work environment for our employees. Our brief consultation with Dr. Nicoletti on this matter, a resource who regularly provides our office with training and expertise on workplace issues, reflects our commitment to securing a safe workplace.”

This is only the latest example of federal funds sent down the toilet at the EPA. Earlier this year, ATR reported on EPA employees using federal charge cards to purchase gym memberships and gift cards. That same month, news broke that an EPA employee had downloaded over 7,000 pornographic images onto the EPA server, and finally admitted to looking at porn for over 6 hours a day at work.

Something smells foul in this whole situation. Perhaps it’s simply a revolution against the surely environmentally harmful plastic dog waste bags? Or maybe it’s just an effort to fertilize naturally. Regardless, such a crappy expenditure of taxpayer funds is just another instance of the EPA being caught with their pants down. 

Photo Credit: 
Emojipedia

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